|This is what $20 worth of quarters |
looks like, Blake Lively
Which reminds me - grocery shopping is another normal errand that I avoid like the plague. Maybe it's because instead of the Food Emporiums on the UES - sorry I don't live in a penthouse and piss champagne, Serena van der Woodsen - I have a Key Foods a block away which looks like a glorified Kwik-E Mart and features a self check-out that always requires cashier assistance. How do they fit all your grocery needs into one tiny space? By stacking paper goods above the freezers and shelves in the dairy aisle. Last week I was trying to bring home a 12-pack of toilet paper to show my roommates that I'm not a deadbeat Craigslist roommate and had to use a giant roll of gingersnap cookies to reach up and knock down a pack of Scott's.
Ok, back to the laundry. That Key Foods story got us through the washer portion of this mission, so we've penetrated the frontline and are onto the dryers. It's 25 cents/7 minutes so I'm doing this one quarter at a time and taking out the dry pieces on 7 minute intervals. This is taking much longer than necessary but I'm biding my time while I wait for a hot freelance artist/drummer to walk in, notice me in my laundry day Target dress (which happens to show just a little too much cleave for a Wednesday night at the laundromat), drop his bag full of soiled flannel, and sweep me away... So far I've only seen a girl in running clothes and a guy who looks like that baby Satan in Passion of the Christ. Maybe next month.
The laundromat guy is laughing at me because I definitely did not need $20 worth of quarters. In fact, he just exchanged the coins that remained in my urine sample cup of quarters for $14 in regular bills. I assumed I was going to need the large machines - which, upon closer look, could tumble dry a bison - but my 3 weeks of shame comfortably fit in one medium washer/dryer. (Yes, I mixed all my colors in one washer. It's called being progressive.)
Well, thanks for joining me for this completely unremarkable experience that I'm hoping you'll find interesting so you'll read my blog.