Tuesday, September 25, 2012

These Guys Look Like a Bunch of Lemon Pops

Carolyn says she's going to boycott my blog until I post the stories about my dad from our trip to Kauai.  Given the infrequency with which I've been blogging, this would not be a very impressive protest on her part.  But all the same, I know how much the world my 7 loyal readers love stories about my dad, so I shall oblige.

Hawaii Five-No
1.  If any of you have ever been to the Hawaiian islands, you'll know that there are chickens and roosters running around all over the place.  When you first notice them, it's sort of a novel thing and you want to take lots of pictures.  And then after a couple of days, they're sort of just squirrels with feathers.  Anyway, my family had been in Oahu for a week before I got there so the novelty really should have worn off for Bill.  But the first morning I was in Kauai, I went for a walk with my parents, and in the middle of a conversation with my mother and me, he just darted off into some tall grass after some chickens.  And he was meowing.  Meowing.  At some feral chickens.  My previous understanding of the bird-cat relationship - which is mostly based on the Looney Tunes - would indicate that he was trying to scare them away with his meows, but the excited grin on his face suggested it was a misguided attempt at befriending them.  Moving on.

2. He bought the above t-shirt and told me that it's "as seen on Hawaii Five-O.. the new series." I laughed and he said, "No, it really is!" Oh ok.. I thought that was a joke.  I liked it better when it was a joke.

3. While getting ready for dinner one night, he walked into my siblings' and my room, looked at my brother, and said, "Look at this kid!  What are those.. he's got linen shorts?  Ann, this kid has linen shorts.  Why didn't I think of that?  God, I can't keep up with these three."  I'm a really big fan of overreactions, just in general, and when they're sparked by something like linen shorts, that's just icing on the cake.  When he visits in October, I may have to just walk him around H&M with a tape recorder and see what happens.

4. Ok, this was so long ago at this point and I'm just looking at the notes I took on my iPhone as reminders for blog material.. so now I don't remember where I was going with this conversation but here we go.  I think it's still funny:

     Me: "Ok, don't take this as an insult--"
     Dad: "I already am."
     Me: "--but did you bring..."
     Dad: "Rogaine?"

Both of my parents have aged really well, but since I can remember my dad has been convinced that his hairline is receding.  I can't remember what I was trying to ask my dad in this instance but I can assure you, it had nothing to do with his hair.  But he managed to go there.  Yet again.  He is also very concerned about having man boobs.  I think this is because he learned the word "moobs" in the last year or so.  But yeah, you can imagine how often that question came up on a beach vacation.  At one point, he said that I get my boobs from him, managing to insult himself, myself, and my mother in one fell swoop.  Irish charm.  That's why we love him.

5.  Here's another great conversation that went down that week:

     Dad: "The man behind the counter looked like a sushi man maker.  A man sushi maker.  A sushi maker man?"
     Nick: "He looked Japanese."

It's not often that Nick gets to be the voice of reason.  Way to step up.

6.  I gave him my phone and asked him to take a picture of my mom and sister with me.  He stands there making us shift a little bit left, a little bit right, etc. to supposedly get the perfect shot...

"Mariel's party hat."
... when in reality, he was trying to get us to line up so that the tiki torch behind me would look like "Mariel's party hat."  I can't tell you how long he laughed about that one.  Just picture a grown man who needs glasses, holding an iPhone as far away from his face as he can, chuckling "Mariel's party hat" to himself.  Incredible.

7.  As I've mentioned previously, my dad is not the savviest when it comes to technology.  He's really into taking photos with his iPhone now, though, and it's rather endearing when he tries to take artsy photos of ducks in Central Park.  His one complaint, though, is the dual camera.  I got to witness this frustration first hand and it sounds something like this: "Ughsdfhh, I hate when the camera flips around on you like that.  I look like the biggest loser."  Classic overreaction.  Classic Synan.

8. This is him zip-lining into a pond:

Look at that form.

9.  We were in Hawaii during the Olympics, and every time Mary Carillo would show up on screen, he'd say, "Who's this guy?"

10.  While one male gymnast gracefully made his way across the balance beam, he expressed his admiration by noting that he can't stand on one leg and take off his sandal at the same time.  #Respect.  Then when it came to one of the Irish gymnasts doing his floor routine, every time he'd do the splits, my dad would make a fart noise.  #NotSoMuchRespect

11.  And last but not least, his reaction to the Olympic sport of track cycling.  As soon as I saw those helmets, I knew he was going to lose his mind.  First to line up, the Australian team.  "What the hell is this?  What the hell?  These guys look like a bunch of lemon pops!"  Well, to be fair, they kind of do.  Then the race begins and he is not impressed, directing most of his anger at the pace bicyclist, who he referred to as "the mailman."  Well, to be fair:
Sometimes he really is spot on.
My favorite comment of the evening, was, "You know what would be really cool?  If they were really tiny people and they cut up your pizza pie."  When it was all over, and I was wiping tears of laughter from my face, trying to catch my breath, he just said "There are literally millions of texts being sent around the world that just say 'WTF.'"  Which, ironically, was my reaction to his 7 minute long commentary.

Well, that's all for now, friends.  Bill comes to visit in a little over a week so if you have any suggestions for a Dad-inspired blog post, please send them to me!  mariel.synan@gmail.com


1 comment:

  1. I laughed. I cried. You remembered it all quite, well. I didn't think that it would be as funny the 2nd time around.